Generally speaking, wine doesn't outlive nuclear radiation.
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Hooray, we're high-tech. To place these things in your phone, you'll need to grab them via WAP/GPRS. The screensaver thingies are designed to fit the outside screen of a Nokia 7200, which (shock horror) is the phone I have, so..they're probably useless to everyone else. Correct me if I'm wrong, though. I know the wallpapers with black backgrounds are useless because most phones tend to like placing black text over top of them, but hey. Just don't use them.

Screen savers:

The last one, in use, looks something like this:


All content is © Russ Gawthorpe, 2003 and all subsequent years, unless otherwise credited. The walrus is angry. ANGRY.

This page was generated in your earlobe.

So. You're reading the bit at the bottom again. how about I suggest some things you could be doing instead? Then, when you get to the end of the paragraph, you can feel vaguely fulfilled and perhaps even go out and do one or all of them? Or you can just think "Hey, he's just knocking off ideas from Monkey Island!", but it's all good in the end. Anyhow, why not wash the car, or buy some groceries? Donate someone's body to science! Invent a new way to varnish wood! Learn a new language! Learn two new languages! Find some bugs! Then race 'em! Kill the losers.

This webpage best viewed with a monitor resolution of 9x2 and a depth of 12 fathoms. A web browser is recommended, but not entirely necessary.

Some random words to make the search engines freak out:
Saggitarius Stroodle! Garlic Mungbean! Serendipitous Tutu! Abnormal Finch! Mongbotty Organist! Sputnik Charmer! Lilliputian Spectator! Nipple Garnish! Splade Turnip! Funk Delicious! Gosling Batter! Chip Supreme! Retentive Scorpion! Sardine Wrangler! Aerodynamic Kumquat!