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This is kind of a tradition. It started years ago, when I made this and populated it with fake merchandise for my website. Which was amusing for about four seconds. However, I've decided to resurrect the idea, and lo and behold, here they are. I'm working on more, but they take about two hours a piece to render because of the plastic bubble and my ancient computer, so bear with me.

The idea was inspired by this stuff, which is unbelievably cool (if somewhat kitsch).
Standard Figures
These are standard figures of...standard people. No accessories, no special modelling, no major changes to the backing cards. There're two figure bodies, make and female. As of the moment, no changes are made to either of these figures to make these characters.

Russ Figure

This is me.

Miek Figure

This is Miek, from here. He's based on the basic figure with a pretty cool texture map, as they go.

Dan Figure

This is Dan, from here. Also based on the original standard figure, but with a less successful texture due to his photo not being a decent front-on shot. Such is life. Possible "Dan with Goth Trenchcoat" figure coming soon.

Chris Figure

This is Chris, from here. Standard figure again. Semi-decent texture.

Kait Figure

This is Kait, my first attempt at a female figure. This will be superseded shortly, as the dimensions don't look quite right from an isometric angle. Or...something. Also, hair is required. I remember modelling hair being fucking difficult last time I made these things.

Sean Figure

This is Sean from here.

Collector's Edition Figures
These are "special edition" figures that include some kind of modification, be it a hat, a coat, or whatever. Also, this category includes celebrities and in-joke related characters, like Sting. These figures have more elaborate cards.

Miek The Neo Gnome

This is Miek with the coat his sister made (complete with red stitching) and a gnome hat. As you do.

Glenn Bresnahan

Glenn Bresnahan of Boston University. The hat is lathed and distorted.

Sting Muddy

Sting naked in the desert. Penis was not modelled.

Unrequested Guest Figures
This category is for figures that'll get me sued, arrested, or proclaimed some kind of hero.


This is Yahtzee from here. His texturing went a little awry on the head, resulting in what appears to be a 1930s pilot's helmet. I kind of like it, so I think I'll leave it there. Note reoccurance of Miek's sister's coat, this time disguised as a trenchcoat.

All content is © Russ Gawthorpe, 2003 and all subsequent years, unless otherwise credited. Don't link to my images. They're like my children.

This page was generated in your eye socket.

So. You're reading the bit at the bottom again. how about I suggest some things you could be doing instead? Then, when you get to the end of the paragraph, you can feel vaguely fulfilled and perhaps even go out and do one or all of them? Or you can just think "Hey, he's just knocking off ideas from Monkey Island!", but it's all good in the end. Anyhow, why not wash the car, or buy some groceries? Donate someone's body to science! Invent a new way to varnish wood! Learn a new language! Learn two new languages! Find some bugs! Then race 'em! Kill the losers.

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