|
About this drink: This is the benchmark energy drink; all other drinks are generally described to taste either better or worse than this drink. It's also probably the most widely available. It should be noted before going into depth about this particular beverage that it's pasteurised, which I've listed as an "ingredient" (even though it isn't) on the ingredients reference page. In short, this is the process they put milk through in order to remove the bits of random cow bacteria that they figure won't be compatible with bits of random human bacteria it's likely to encounter. IN SHORT, anyway. There's much more to it. But that's still enough to make me wonder what the sweet fucking Christ is in Red Bull (or moreso is no longer in Red Bull) that required a massive dairy process to remove. AND I CONSUMED THIS STUFF. Appearance, aroma, argh? To the eye: It looks like beer, albeit a bit browner. It fizzes tremendously upon being opened, and forms a brief head atop the beverage. To the nose: It smells like Combantrin liquid. So, rest assured that while Red Bull may not give you wings, per-se, it'll quite likely rid you of worms. Seriously, though, this stuff smells vaguely toxic. To the mouth: It tastes like vomit, really. Chefelf described it as bile, which is much of a muchness when it comes to internal fluids ejected orally. But yes. It's sickening. It tastes like a heavily carbonated combination of worming medicine and vomit. The reason this stuff initiates a gag reflex in me is, I fear, not due to its taste, but due to my body going "Hey, I know this flavour, it goes outward, not in!" And a little while after: The illusion of consuming spew continues in the aftertaste, which cannot be described more efficiently than "it tastes like you just blew chunks". And possibly attempted to wash your mouth out with worming medicine to remove the taste of expelled bile. When it gets warm: Oh, God. If you leave a can in the car, it makes the atmosphere inside the vehicle incapable of supporting carbon-based life for at least a decade. Overall: It tastes like puke. With bubbles. And for some reason, I bought a four-pack of it.  Finally he figures out how to photograph drinks properly.  Barf x 4. |
 It looks quite beer-like. Tagline: "Vitalizes Body and Mind" Manufacturer: Red Bull GmbH, Austria. Yes, Austria. Website: www.redbull.com - which features some rather propaganda-esque statistics and pages about the drink's alleged benefits. Daily dosage: Contains caffeine. Not recommended for children, pregnant or lactating women or caffeine sensitive persons." Usage: 2 cans max. daily. Pasteurised." Apparently the pasteurisation is worth mentioning at this point on the can's print, and no earlier. Volume: Can; 250ml. Ingredients: Taurine is pretty much the one that's bugled about the place. Also, presumably, the origin of the name Red Bull. Energy: 46 calories. Caffeine: 32mg. Taurine: 400mg. |