The best thing about babies is that it gives you something to eat if you get bored with chicken.

In his unending quest to plagiarise every single thing that stands as good and decent about the internet, Datazoid proudly ventures toward Chefelf's very own Extinct Beverage Museum. Besides, Datazoid is on a different continent. Datazoid has access to beverages Chefelf does not. Datazoid also speaks often in the third person, it seems. Anyhow. Fanfare ahoy!

Extinct Beverage Reviews

Beverage Title!


Tagline: "Guarana Energy". It used to be "Vitalise body and mind". Now it isn't. Hm.
Manufacturer: Frucor Beverages, New Zealand.
It's still under construction, but it has some semi-interesting information about the origins of the drink and a bit about the history of energy drinks.
Magical Contents: The only real ingredient of note is guarana.
Click here for information on these ingredients.
Medical Warnings: "Contains caffeine at levels found in an average cup of coffee, so is not suitable for children, pregnant or lactating women, or persons sensitive to caffeine."
Volume: Bottle; 350ml.
Daily Dosage: "1.5 bottles max, daily." Which raises the interesting point of how many people will drink half a bottle and toss the remainder.
Nutritional Info: Contains virtually four times the energy content of the other drinks reviewed so far. Which is interesting.

Ingredient Graph for idiots Amount per 100ml
Energy 45.5cal
Carbohydrates 11.2g
Sugars 11.2g
Chemicals Amount per 100ml
Caffeine 31mg
Taurine 200mg
Niacin 2.9mg
Vitamin B6 0.46mg
Pantothenic Acid 0.7mg
Glucuronolactone 25mg

Beverage Bottle, glass
The Longneck's Back! Frankly, I preferred the other bottles.

To the eye:
It's extremely yellow, quite like Red Eye Gold. Unlike the Red Eye beverages, which I use as a benchmark due to their superiority in most regards (i.e. taste), V retains its carbonation, rather than losing it entirely upon the bottle being opened.

Beverage closeup
It's yellow and has bubbles that don't escape.

To the nose:
It has a strong berry-like taste with a hint of medicine. It smells quite refreshing. Disturbingly, however, if you leave an open can or bottle of V in your car for a length of time, it emits a smell not dissimilar to superglue.

To the mouth:
It's quite strong. It tastes very much of berries, like some odd foreign fruit drink. There's no real taste evidence of vitamin B, which is a good thing. The berry flavour is obviously used to mask some of the other potential horrors in the drink. It's so strong it can actually make you squint a bit upon first tasting it. Overall, though, the taste is not unpleasant.

And a little while after:
The berry-like masking flavour remains somewhat, presumably continuing to mask the vitamin B taste that's probably lurking beneath it. Due to the strength of the fruitiness and the fact the beverage remains carbonated, belching post-consumption revives the berry-like fruitiness considerably, and is not so pleasant.

It tastes strongly of berries. Blackcurrant, perhaps. No real bad tastes present, but the strength can be overwhelming. The stuff tastes quite pleasant mixed with lemonade, though.

One word summary*:

* Like I said, plagiarising everything.

All content is © Russ Gawthorpe, 2003 and all subsequent years, unless otherwise credited. Don't steal my shit.

This page was generated in the time it takes for chocolate to melt on Jupiter.

So. You're reading the bit at the bottom again. how about I suggest some things you could be doing instead? Then, when you get to the end of the paragraph, you can feel vaguely fulfilled and perhaps even go out and do one or all of them? Or you can just think "Hey, he's just knocking off ideas from Monkey Island!", but it's all good in the end. Anyhow, why not wash the car, or buy some groceries? Donate someone's body to science! Invent a new way to varnish wood! Learn a new language! Learn two new languages! Find some bugs! Then race 'em! Kill the losers.

Some random words to make the search engines freak out:
Sphagnum Grease! Nipples on tap! Parsley wedges! Sputnik Cheesecake! Leprosy on Toast! Cardboard Bollocks! Chutney On A Stick! Toilet Paper Sorbet! Exploding Frog! Brrt-Nyitnyit! Champion Glee! Spherical Dormouse!