You missed my hot duck.
Quick Navigation:  
colonpipe.com home :: ozmidi Archive  
Rafters :: fraxyl Design :: Natch Comics  


In his unending quest to plagiarise every single thing that stands as good and decent about the internet, Datazoid proudly ventures toward Chefelf's very own Extinct Beverage Museum. Besides, Datazoid is on a different continent. Datazoid has access to beverages Chefelf does not. Datazoid also speaks often in the third person, it seems. Anyhow. Fanfare ahoy!

Extinct Beverage Reviews

Beverage Title!

Arnott's Tim Tams - Dangerous Liaisons Chilli Choc Fling


Tagline: N/A
Manufacturer: Arnott's Biscuits Limited.
Website: http://www.arnotts.com.au/, but as of the moment, it's not working.
Magical Contents: Uh, chocolate?
Click here for information on these ingredients.
Medical Warnings: None.
Volume: Pack, 9 buscits, 165g..
Daily Dosage: N/A.
Nutritional Info: It's a biscuit. It's full of sugar and chocolate and stuff.

Ingredient Graph for idiots Amount per 100g
Energy 518cal
Carbohydrates 63.7g
Sugars 42.3.6g


Biscuits:
This isn't a beverage. But it is exotic. And this is a review of it. Two out of three ain't bad.

Everyone loves Tim Tams. So far, through numerous different flavours, neither Tim or Tam have managed to do anything wrong. You can understand my hesitance when I spotted "Tim Tam Dangerous Liaisons: Chilli Choc Fling" on my supermarket shelves.

Actually, I lie. I didn't hesitate at all to stuff a pack into my shopping crate. I also purchased the Black Forest flavoured 'Tams, which I'll review later on if they prove themselves exotic enough.

Beverage Bottle, glass
I hate to be the one to point this out, but..
..it's a bit phallic, right?

To the eye:
They look like regular dark chocolate Tim Tams. I was expecting the creme filling to be bright red or something, but alas it just looks like dark choccie.

Beverage closeup
Little biscuits all lined up in a row.

To the nose:
It smells like really strong dark chocolate. Alas, nothing too exciting so far.

To the mouth:
I had some concerns. Particularly, that the flavour of the chilli would be present. I was unimpressed with the idea of a chocolate buscuit with undertones of capsicum. However, I was pleasantly surprised.

The initial taste is of nothing but dark chocolate, just like a regular Dark Chocolate Tim Tam. By the time you've finished the biscuit, though, the chilli rears its ugly head and proceeds to burn the sweet buggery out of your mouth. Or not, really. It's mildly spicy. Actually, it's quite pleasant.

Beverage closeup
Decimated biscuit.

I'm slightly concerned with what the temperature of a hot beverage would do to the chilli flavour, as everyone is aware that adding heat to chilli actually makes the spiciness somewhat hotter. I'm tempted to try a Tim Tam straw (bite the ends off and suck coffee through the biscuit), but I can't be arsed to make a cup of coffee.

And a little while after:
The chilli heat actually lasts quite a while. Even after having subjected my palate to a serving of Red Eye Platinum, I can still taste the zing.

Overall:
A bizarre concept that turns out to be quite pleasant in the end.

One word summary*:
Zing!

* Like I said, plagiarising everything.






All content is © Russ Gawthorpe, 2003 and all subsequent years, unless otherwise credited. The walrus may have farted, but we're not totally sure.

This page was generated in a fearsome gonad.

So. You're reading the bit at the bottom again. how about I suggest some things you could be doing instead? Then, when you get to the end of the paragraph, you can feel vaguely fulfilled and perhaps even go out and do one or all of them? Or you can just think "Hey, he's just knocking off ideas from Monkey Island!", but it's all good in the end. Anyhow, why not wash the car, or buy some groceries? Donate someone's body to science! Invent a new way to varnish wood! Learn a new language! Learn two new languages! Find some bugs! Then race 'em! Kill the losers.

This webpage best viewed with a monitor resolution of 9x2 and a depth of 12 fathoms. A web browser is recommended, but not entirely necessary.

Some random words to make the search engines freak out:
Saggitarius Stroodle! Garlic Mungbean! Serendipitous Tutu! Abnormal Finch! Mongbotty Organist! Sputnik Charmer! Lilliputian Spectator! Nipple Garnish! Splade Turnip! Funk Delicious! Gosling Batter! Chip Supreme! Retentive Scorpion! Sardine Wrangler! Aerodynamic Kumquat!