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In his unending quest to plagiarise every single thing that stands as good and decent about the internet, Datazoid proudly ventures toward Chefelf's very own Extinct Beverage Museum. Besides, Datazoid is on a different continent. Datazoid has access to beverages Chefelf does not. Datazoid also speaks often in the third person, it seems. Anyhow. Fanfare ahoy!
Red Eye: Extreme
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| Tagline: |
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| "Energy Drink with Attitude" |
| Manufacturer: |
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| RedEye International. This stuff is made in Australia, apparently. |
| Website: |
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| www.red-eye.com.au
Currently under construction, it seems. The drink's been available for several years now (so it doesn't really classify as extinct. Or even endangered, really), and the website has been printed on the bottles forever. I've never actually bothered to visit the site. I theorise the site is being redesigned, the labels on the bottles were redesigned at one point, as they used to feature a huge voodoo eye that I surmise was frightening the elderly, or something. |
| Magical Contents: |
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| Amazonian guarana, ginseng, gingko and amino acids listed on the product blurb, plus caffeine, taurine, vitamin B6, pantothenic acid, inositol and vitamin B12 listed in the "composition information" panel. Not the ingredients panel, mind you. This stuff reads like an actual chemical compound.
Click here for information on these ingredients. |
| Medical Warnings: |
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| "Not recommended for children; and pregnant or lactating women; and individuals sensitive to caffeine. (Odd usage of semicolons preserved for posterity.) |
| Volume: |
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| Bottle; 330ml. |
| Daily Dosage: |
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| "Consume no more than two bottles per day." |
| Nutritional Info: |
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| Nothing outstanding. Contains prestigious amounts of sugar and carbohydrates. No surprise there.
| Ingredient |
Graph for idiots
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Amount per 100ml |
| Energy |
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45cal |
| Protein |
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< 0.1g |
| Carbohydrates |
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11.3g |
| Sugars |
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11.0g |
| Sodium |
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< 0.1mg |
| Chemicals |
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Amount per 100ml |
| Caffeine |
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32mg |
| Taurine |
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18mg |
| Niacin |
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6mg |
| Vitamin B6 |
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1.5mg |
| Pantothenic Acid |
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1.5mg |
| Inositol |
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15.2mg |
| Vitamin B12 |
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1.5ug |
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It does indeed feature a large red eye.
To the eye:
It looks like cheap champagne. It's tinged slightly yellow, which is actually surprising as in traditional energy drink style it comes housed in a green glass bottle to mask its true appearance.
The beverage is "lightly carbonated", which manifests itself as several squillion tiny bubbles clinging to the inside of the glass, as shown in the next photograph. It should be noted that the stuff loses its carbonation at a rate of knots, and leaving it in the glass for any more than a few minutes renders it flat as a tack.
Billions of small bubbles clinging to the glass.
To the nose:
It smells like...those powdery candy bananas everyone used to eat as a child. The ones that are made from the same substance as musk sticks, but taste of banana instead. It also has a mild aroma of some undefined chemical, although it's an energy drink, so this is to be expected. Removing the cap from the bottle produces a fairly large rush of carbonation to the surface of the drink, probably during which the majority of the carbon dioxide escapes, thus beginning the end of the bubbles as mentioned above.
To the mouth:
It actually tastes like candy bananas. It's quite pleasant, and not overpowering with any of the usual energy drink flavours (i.e. vegetables, medicine, wee). It loses its flavour quite speedily as the product loses its chill, however, so it's best to either drink it in its entirety while it's still as cold as possible, or refrigerate it and ration it into speedily consumed glasses. A lot of effort, perhaps, but a pleasant tasting energy drink is a rarity at best.
And a little while after:
The aftertaste is quite mild. It's basically just a residue of whatever produced the slight chemical odour that was present in the sniffing stage, and it fades quite quickly. The only unpleasance is a slight sugary coating it leaves on the lips and teeth.
Overall:
Without a doubt the most pleasant energy drink available. Tastes basically like an odd-flavoured soft drink. As for its energy inducing powers, I've not felt anything out of the ordinary. Although having sampled it, I don't feel I need to retch. Perhaps that is out of the ordinary after all.
One word summary*:
Bananas.
* Like I said, plagiarising everything.
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